Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
