i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
