This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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