Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
