If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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