my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
