i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
