you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
