Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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