he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
