Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
