The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
