yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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