Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
