just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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