I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
