yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
