I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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