I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
