yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
