Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
