There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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