We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
