yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
