just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize