I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
