How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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