I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
