Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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