Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
