You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They took my balls.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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