You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
