So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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