I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
