Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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