Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(320): View more from Minnesota

If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?

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(292): View more from

i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"

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(212): View more from New York

I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!

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(661): View more from California

Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.

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(434): View more from Virginia

I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face

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