im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
