Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
