you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
