I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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