ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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