I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Ladies don't puke and tell
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
