my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
