Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize