Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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