I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
