after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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