...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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