Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
