my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
