i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
