You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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