I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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