On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
