so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
