Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
