Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
