Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
