I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
