fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My dick has a subreddit
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
