Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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