I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
