you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Actions speak louder than pants.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
