In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize