Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
