There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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