I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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